Aaron's story part 2
by Zanarking
Summary: My second story about Aaron and how he deals with Jackson's death.


**Aaron's story part 2**

"_**I want to die too"**_

It was a early morning and once again Aaron couldn't sleep. He tried over and over again, but nothing seem worked. He looked at his alarmclock and it was only 5 on the morning.

Aaron got out of bed and went downstairs, he looked at the kitchen, he wanted to eat breakfast, but he had no energy make some.

He tried to be quiet, so he wouldn't wake Chas and Paddy up. But too late for that, Aaron knocked over a frame, it hit the floor and it broke. He picked it up and saw it was a picture of Jackson and he couldn't take his eye of it.

- Miss you...Jackson...so damn much.

Paddy came downstairs and saw Aaron standing next to the frontdoor.

- Are you leaving?

Aaron didn't even hear Paddy come downstairs. He put back the frame on the table and turned around and looked at Paddy.

- What?

- What are you doing?

- Nothing, I couldn't sleep, so I got up.

- I can see that. I heard a strange noise.

- How well do you hear thinks?!

Aaron was surpriced over that Paddy even heard that.

- Well, I have been living with you, so I need to be half awake, so you don't do anything stupid.

- Thanks, Paddy.

- You know what I mean, Aaron.

Paddy didn't meant anything by it and Aaron also knows how difficult he have been.

Aaron stood infront of the broken glas on the floor and hoped that Paddy wouldn't notices it.

- Do you want breakfast?

- Now?

- Well yeah, neither of us can sleep now anyway.

Aaron and paddy went into the kitchen and made breakfast together. For once did Aaron throught it was a lot easier to do thinks together with someone, instead of doing it on his own. He wouldn't never been eating or making breakfast if it wasn't for Paddy.

They both sat down, neither of them said anything at first. Aaron had no appetite, so he only drank some hot tea.

- Sorry, for waking you up.

- It's alright. I don't mind, at least now I can talk to you about anything you want and I can probably get more thinks done today.

Aaron knew what Paddy meant with "Talking" and he wasn't going to fall for that one.

- So how is work going for you?

- Fine.

- That's it? Fine?

- What do you want me to say, Paddy?!

- Don't shout, your mother is sleeping.

- Stop talking, then.

Both Paddy and Aaron felt a bit irritaded. They wanted to talk to each other like normal people, but it didn't work so well anymore. This days it always starts and ends with a fight.

- What time is it, Paddy?

- 5.35.

Aaron looked a bit disappointed, he hoped that the time would be more than that.

- Do you have somewhere to be?

Paddy said it with a nice, calm voice, so Aaron wouldn't get so angry.

- Yeah, it called work, Paddy.

Aaron said it in a rude way and he wasn't particalarly happy anymore. Not that he ever was this days...

But Paddy tried to ignore that Aaron was a bit rude and kept on talking like nothing just happened.

- It's good that you have a job to go to.

- What?

- So you can get your mind of thinks.

- I can't get my mind of it!

Aaron spoke in a lower voice and tried very hard not to lose it. But he was close to go over the edge again.

- I meant that your job keep you going. It gives you a reason to get up on the morning.

Aaron kept on drinking from his tea and didn't respond to it with words, but Aaron looked angry and Paddy saw it to and he remembered that time, when Aaron beat him up. Paddy saw it in his head, clear as day. He have always woundered ever since that day, if Aaron ever would do it again.

- After a while did Paddy notice that Aaron hasn't been eating anything.

- Are you not going to eat anything?

- Why do you care?!

- Because I just do and you have to eat something!

- I'm tired of your nagging! You're not my father!

- Well, get use it, Aaron, because I'm going to keep on nagging until I can see that you're the way you use to be.

- You hated the old me!

- Not that you, the one you were with Jackson.

- Well, I guess "that me" died with Jackson.

Paddy didn't know how to respond to that and for once he had no words. He whole siutation with Aaron was making everyone became a bit on edge, specially Chas, who was constant worried that she was going to lose her son one day, because of all this.

- Aaron, please eat something, before you go to work.

- No. It's none of your business, anyway!

- You need to eat!

- Thanks for telling me something, I didn't know, Paddy!

- Stop being rude and don't speak so loud, your mother might wake up because of you.

Once again no one was talking for a long time. But luckly for both of them, Chas came downstairs, walking into the kicthan and saw Paddy and Aaron sat at the kicthan table, that was a bit surprising for her to see, because she haven't since them eating breakfast together in a long time. She smiled at them and her worries just went away for just a moment. Chas started to wounder if she overreacted over the whole think, maybe Aaron wasn't in such a bad place after all.

- Well, this's something I don't see everyday.

Even though Chas was very tried, she really enjoyed sitting with them at breakfast and act like normal human beings for once.

- Oh, sorry. Did we wake you up?

- No, Paddy. I just can't sleep so heavy as I use to, so anything can wake me up this days.

- What woke you up this time?

- Nightmares.

Chas took a cub from the cabinet and poured up some coffee.

- Do you wan to talk about it?

- No. I don't. It was just a stupid dream, it's nothing to talk about.

Chas took a seat next to Aaron.

-How are you, love?

Aaron didn't wan to answer that, but his mother kept on staring at him.

- I'm fine. What'a about you? You don't look so good yourself.

- Oh, thanks, love. Glad that you noticed it, even though you insulted my looks.

Chas said that ironically and smiled at her son. She thought it was a bit funny. But Aaron didn't and he felt even more annoyed. He throught maybe if he's mother showed up, she might start to talk about something, that has nothing to do with him, but he just realized that she's just like Paddy. Annoying as hell!

- So...anyway, son. What're you going to do today?

- Work.

Paddy and Aaron looked at each other and they both looked angry. Chas realized that they might had one of those awkward convensations, that Paddy has with Aaron, once in awhile.

- Do you want to do something fun with me later, love?

- No, Thanks, mum. I going to hang out with Adam after work.

- Oh, really? That's great!

Both Paddy and Chas was smiling. Aaron saw, but it made him angry, so he left the table.

- where are you going, son?

- To Adam.

- Now?

- Yes, now!

- Do you think he's up now?

- He's a farmer, of couse he's!

Aaron put on his shoes, jacket and left.

Aaron drove over to Adam's farm, but he didn't really want to hang out with Adam now or later. He just wanted to be alone, he just doesn't need anyone right now.

He throught about going and knock on the door, but Aaron changed his mind and left again.

He drove to the church. He parked the car on the parking lot and walked over to Jackon's grave.

There was so much flower infront of the gravestone. People from the whole town had come and showed their's respect. Flowers, cards and stuffed animals. There was all kinds of stuff.

Hazel had been at the gravestone everyday and put more and more flowers. Even pictures and stuff that Jackson used to love to play with as a child.

Aaron sat down on the gras. He picked up one of the picures of Jackson and looked at it. Aaron felt sad, but also anger.

- How could you let me do this?! How could you let me go through with it?!

Aaron got up from the ground, he crushed Jackson's picure in his hand and scream right out of the blue. He kicked at the stuff that was laying on the groud. He destroyed Hazel hard work with all the flowers.

- You selfish bastard! You're gone and you are now in peace! And I'm here, fighting and fighting, so I might one day stop feeling guilty over killing you!

Aaron destroyed almost all the flowers and left in anger. He walked up to his car and hit it with his fists, with full strength. His hands started to bleed, but he didn't care. He just kept on hitting his car over and over again. When ge got a bit calmer, he leaned against the car and throught about what he just did. When he realized what he just have done, the guilt came back and it hit him very hard, this time. Aaron got down on his knees and cried.

A car showed up on the parking lot. It was Adam and he saw Aaron on the ground, so he got out of the car and run to him, to see if he was alright.

-Aaron! What's wrong?!

Adam got down on his knees to and put his hands on Aaron's shoulders. He knows that Aaron is difficult to communicate with, so he wasn't going to leave Aaron's side until he tells him what'a hell is going on, even if it's going to take all day long.

- Everything! Adam, everything!

Aaron cried and looked at Adam, like he thought that Adam could heal his pain or take it away.

- Talk to me, mate. What's going on inside of that head of yours?

- Jackson...h-he let me k-k-kill him...how can he let me do a such a thing like that?!

- You didn't, Aaron! You set him free. He was unhappy for what happened to him. You...only YOU, Aaron...you saved him.

- No, I didn't because if I did, I would feel like this. I want to die too, Adam! KILL ME!

- No, Aaron listen to me!

Adam grapped on to Aaron's head so he would look at him and pay attention.

- Aaron, you didn't kill anyone. You saved a man from a very difficult life. You did it, because you loved him and he loved you VERY much! You don't need to feel guilt or anything like that. You're the best man I know and you did what you throught was right. Okay, mate.

- I miss him, so damn much. I can't stand it! I can't!

- I know...I know, but I'm going to help you through this, mate. I promise!

Adam huged his best friend. Aaron cried out in Adam's arms. They just sat there until Aaron could get back up on his feets.

Adam couldn't understand why he snapped. Aaron had been so calm, for the last couple of days. He just kept on working like nothing was wrong and now he got so mad.

The sun was almost up. Adam looked at his phone and he saw, that the time was soon 6. He needed to get back to his farm and help out at home.

-Aaron, can I do something for you?

-No... there isn't anything you can do.

Aaron wiped his tears and got up from the ground. Adam got up to and he didn't really want to leave. He knew that Aaron was still unstable and he didn't know what Aaron would do if he just drove off.

- Come with me.

- where to?

- To my farm.

- Why?

- Well, we could hang out all day and also you can help me, because I have a million thinks to do today. So what do you say?

- But I have work.

- Call in sick or something. Come on, mate. You and me we could just hang out like we use to and later let's go somewhere, just me and you and have some fun.

- Fine. I will text him and make something up.

Adam smiled and jumped into his car and Aaron jump into his own car. They drove to the farm.

When they got there. Adam's mother was out and working as always and when she saw two cars stop infront of the house, she woundered who Adam brought with him.

Adam and Aaron got out of the their's cars and walked towards Moria.

- Hi, boys.

- Hi, mum.

- Hi, mrs Barton.

- Did you bring some extra manpower, Adam.

Moria said it ironically and smiled at them.

- Yeah, I did and also because I want to hang out with my best mate.

- Alright then...Are guys going to stand here all day or help me out.

- Follow me, mate. I'm going to show you the truck. ( Moria tagged along as well)

- Truck?

- Yeah, We got this big delivery, that we all totally forgot about. It's like 200 bags of all sorts of food for the animals.

- Well, I was going to help you, son. But I have to much to do around here.

- I know. But this isn't something that me and Aaron can't handel. We can do this!

- Yeah, It can't be to difficult,right?

Aaron sounded like he wanted to this and that he could handel it. But he didn't really want to work and specially not with this.

- Fine, you boys fix it and later I buy you both some dinner later at the pub.

- Thank you, mum.

- Yeah, thanks.

Moria just smiled and got back to work.

Adam show Aaron how this work and where to put the bags.

Adam stood inside of the truck and gave Aaron one bag at the time. It was really heavy and Aaron started to sweat a lot and so did Adam.

After only 30 minutes work, both of them were tried.

Moria saw that the boys were working really hard, so she went inside and got some cold beers for them.

When Moria came out with the beers, both Adam and Aaron looked relieved. They both sat down on a bag of food and drank an ice cold beer. They were really thankfull for it. The boys also throught it was time for a break, since neither of them had any energy left.

- I need to take an ice cold shower.

Said Adam and drank from his beer.

- Yeah me too. This was really hard work. How can you stand it, to do this everyday?

- I'm born here. I have done this my whole life, so I never question it.

- Well it's a lot easier to be mechanic, because I never have work this hard in my life.

- But you have helped me before. That was difficult work too.

- Yeah, but this is defently THE worse one. My arms hurt really bad.

- Same here. This bags are a lot bigger, then the last once. I wounder if my mum did really order the right kind.

Aaron felt a bit dizzy and more tired than ever. His heart was pounding like crazy.

- Let's go back to work, shell we?

Aaron just nodded, but he didn't feel like working. He was woundring if he was going to have a heart attack or a panic attack.

- Aaron, are you alright?

- Yeah, I'm fine. Just feel a bit dizzy.

- It probably the sun, it's a bit warm today.

- Yeah, probably. Just go easy on me.

- Okay.

Adam gave one bag like before, but he paused sometimes, because he saw that Aaron was moving more slowly.

After another 2 hours work. Aaron felt dead. He lay down on the gras next to the barn. Adam did the same think, he felt tried and hungry.

- I want food!

Said Adam closed his eye and tried to not to think about thinks that irritates him.

- Me too. I didn't eat anything for breakfast this morning.

- What? Are you serious?

- Yeah.

" _I should have listen to Paddy about that damn breakfast...!" _Throught Aaron.

- But it's almost 7 o'clock, Aaron. You need to eat something. Let's go inside and get you something to eat.

- No, it's okay. I fine. I can wait until lunch-time.

- Are you sure? I was thinking of getting something to eat.

Moria saw Adam and Aaron was laying on the ground and did nothing.

- Adam! Aaron! Get back to work! There is still a lot of thinks to do!

Shouted Moria. She was hanging up laundry after laungry on a white wire, so it could dry. So she didn't have time to help they boys. She was hoping that Aaron and Adam finish all of it today.

Adam and Aaron got back to work, but when Aaron got back up from the ground and was about to move. He felt dizzy and he couldn't see straight. He heart was feeling heavy and he throught at that moment he was going to die.

Adam turned around and looked at Aaron and saw that he was acting stranges again.

- Aaron?

Aaron fell down on his knees and his put his hand on his chest and he was breating so heavily, that Adam could hear it too. Adam started to believe that Aaron was having a heart attack.

Moria saw Aaron, she ran to him and get down on her knees and graped Aaron's head, so she could see if she could get eye conctact with him.

- Aaron! Aaron, look at me!

But Aaron didn't respond to what she said.

- Adam! Call for an ambulance. Now!

Adam took out his cellphone from his pocket and call for an ambulance.

Aaron fell to the ground. Moria shaked Aaron over and over again, but he didn't move and now his eyes were closed.

- No! No! Aaron! Open your eyes! Open them! Aaron!

Moria was started to panic because she throught all this was her fault. She started to cry and Adam looked shocked and he didn't do anything, he just stood there. He didn't say anything nor did he move.

The ambulance showed up and they spoked to Moria and Adam, but Adam couldn't contect himself to the reality, so they didn't get anything out of him. Moria was cry when she was talking, so it was a bit difficult to hear what she said. The paramedics tried to calm Moria down and also tried to get Aaron into the ambulance.

Moria got inside the ambulance too and Adam took his car and followed them to the hospital.

Adam called Paddy, on his way to the hospital.

When Adam got there with Moria and Aaron. The doctors took Aaron immediately. Just a few minutes after that, did Paddy and Chas show up.

- Adam! Moria! What happened?

Chas spoke kind of loud and she was a bit rude in her tone of voice.

- I don't know. We were working and then this happened!

Adam felt stressed and worried as hell.

- Did he say something to you during the time you guys was haning out?

- He mentioned that he was a bit tired and hungry, but I didn't think twise about it, because I was feeling the same. We were both very tired after just a couple of hours of work!

- You must have seen if he wasn't feeling well!?

Adam didn't respond to that and he put his hands on his head. He couldn't think anymore. The gulit was all over him and he started to cry.

- Adam...baby.

Moria graped her son and huged him. Adam Huged her back and he cried even more now.

- Oh my god. I killed him!

- No, son...you didn't. He will be fine.

Paddy and Chas just stood there. Chas had tears in her eyes and she felt a bit guilty for yelling at Adam. She knew it wasn't his fault, but she was so worried about Aaron, that she accidently took out her frustrationon on Adam.

Now there wasn't anything else to do and just wait...and wait...

**TO BE CONTINUED**


End file.
